


GI Gundam

by RhysTalCernunnos



Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: And anything else i can think of, Don't Touch Heero's Guns, Hood Ornament Heero, M/M, Mischievous Cobra Commander Duo, Sexy Snake Eyes Heero, Storm Shadow Wufei stick in the mud, and all things that go BOOM
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-05
Updated: 2017-04-24
Packaged: 2018-10-15 06:20:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10551510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RhysTalCernunnos/pseuds/RhysTalCernunnos
Summary: AU Gundam Wing Guys....GI Joe theme...Tanks, 'splodeys, and tons of fun....





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Cobra Commander Plays “Capture The Tanks”

Heero and the other GI-Gundams with him bounced along the sands of the Arabian desert in their two Leo Humvees, the two Trago tanks and one Vayeate tank taking longer to get to their destination. Heero wondered about the Intel, not sure how reliable this “Wizard of OZ” was. When they were close to their coordinates, the Leos stopped just behind some dunes that hid them quite well. Heero and the others get out, Heero belly crawling nearly to the top of the dune and looked towards their target.  
/Targets appear unaware./ Wing Zero informs in a metallic, monotonous voice through the tiny speaker embedded into his right ear canal.  
“Prime target status?” Heero inquires.  
/Unknown, stand by./ Wing Zero replies.  
Flash, clad as per usual in black light body armor over their usual blue with white (silver) trim bodysuits, belly crawls up next to Heero. “Any word?”  
“Negative. Awaiting confirmation.” Heero states. “Status of the Tragos and Vayeate?”  
“Ten klicks south of us, sir.” Breaker says after belly crawling up to the other side of Flash, the comms system on his back making him look like a square shelled tortoise, it was wired into his helmet which had a mouthpiece hanging near the right corner of his mouth, over his blue and white (silver) bodysuit.  
/Target acquired. Cobra Commander confirmed. Ten yards Northwest of your current coordinates./ Wing Zero announces in his ear.  
Heero swings his binoculars over, and as Wing Zero said, plain as day, stood the Cobra Commander with Storm Shadow at his right side…. The two as different as night and day. Cobra Commander was clad in a skin tight black body suit with a face concealing black hood, the Cobra emblem was emblazoned in bright blood red on the hood and on the left pectoral of the bodysuit, and obviously armed to the teeth with thigh holsters, back holsters and hip holsters carrying a small variety of guns and knives of varying sizes. Heero was willing to bet that the knee high shitkicker boots also concealed knives if not small pistols.  
Storm Shadow, on the other hand, was clad in a resplendent white body suit and a half mask covering his face from the bridge of his nose down and a close fitting hood. Storm Shadow was more obviously armed to the teeth, possibly because the black weaponry stood out more on the white than Cobra Commander's did. Not to mention the rather noticeable katana strapped to Storm Shadow's back.  
Heero couldn't tell which one stood out the most... they stood out spectacularly on the light tan sands of the desert.

Meanwhile on Cobra's side of the oil field...  
/Enemy Leos in position ten yards southeast of you, two of them. And two Tragos and one Vayeate approaching from the same direction about ten klicks from our location. Recommended action, disable or destroy. For best results, those sticky bombs, smoke bombs and grenades that you stashed away. A game of “capture the tanks” would give us a bargaining tool to keep those Global Idiots of Gundam safe and keep those asshole scientists at bay./ Deathscythe informs Cobra Commander through the tiny speaker embedded into Cobra Commander's left ear, though he could have used the one in the right also.  
“Ez şa me, ku tu ji min re da baş dizanin, hevalekî kevn min ên hezkirî im.”1 Cobra Commander says, keeping his voice as low as he can.  
“Did you say something?” Storm Shadow asks, turning towards him, onyx eyes examining him like an entomologist examines some super rare species of dragonfly pinned to a pinning board.  
Cobra Commander suspected that the Chinese man was not as he seemed. He knew the man was Chinese from the look of his almond shaped eyes and also from the formal Mandarin and swearing in Taiwanese or Vietnamese he had caught the man doing every now and then. No proper Chinese would dare swear in Mandarin, it just wasn't done. Cobra Commander had his suspicions because everything the man did made his own instincts scream “cop” and “law enforcement”. As such, Cobra Commander didn't confide nearly as much in the man as any person would to their right hand man. When you can't trust those truly in charge, it was severely bothersome not to be able to trust his right hand man.  
“Just talking to myself, busy mind and all that.” Cobra Commander replies airily, waving Storm Shadow off with his hand in a negligent manner. “You keep these idiot grunts working as long as you can. I need to go elsewhere.”  
Storm Shadow looked at him askance.  
“Don't give me that look. Do as you are told, unless you want to find out personally what I do to those who question my orders and my decisions.” Cobra Commander states irritably.  
Storm Shadow shrugs one shoulder and looks away from Cobra Commander. Cobra Commander was tempted to slap him on the back of his head... tempted, but he had things to do... namely disabling tanks, before they could turn things into a FUBAR day.  
Cobra Commander then made his way to one of the supply trucks, the one that still had it's ramp conveniently attached. He had ordered it that way in case they should have company... of the irritating kind. When he entered he walked along one of the walls near the rear door, looking for the sticky bombs, smoke bombs and grenades that he had stashed. Sure enough, they were all right where he had stashed them, between the chains marked “CHA” and the oscillators marked “OS”... Cobra Commander smirked to himself at the inside joke. Chaos should have been his middle name. Duo Chaos Maxwell... it had a nice ring to it. He chuckled at his own joke and placed six sticky bombs, four smoke bombs, and a couple grenades into the small saddlebags that he had installed on the tail of the motorcycle that was also sitting in the truck. He had only allowed his own personnel load the motorcycle into the truck, Yazidi people whom he called family, about three currently with him, four others he had forbidden to ever accompany him, not counting the young-ins. He knew women were capable, but he respected them and wanted to keep them safe. The motorcycle itself had been loaded in, despite the odd looks it received, just because the other Cobras weren't smart enough to be inventive or able to figure out ways to deal with things, doesn't mean he wasn't or couldn't. He knew he'd need something small, fast and open to him being able to reach things from the vehicle, a motorcycle was a perfect tool.  
This motorcycle however, was more than just a motorcycle, it was a gorgeous black and green Kawasaki Ninja H2R, considered the most mental of all super bikes, it was not pretty. It possessed a deadly beauty that no other bike could match. It was the masterpiece of Kawasaki, in Cobra Commander's opinion. If Lamborghini had a Japanese bike building cousin, Kawasaki would be it. The H2R looked aggressive, like it wanted to tear you limb from limb... and kick your ass with a steel toed boot. Cobra Commander lovingly strokes his fingers along the top of the H2R. It was lean, mean and deadly, like himself. It was said that no mere mortal could handle it, such was especially true about this particular bike. /Good thing I am Shinigami, not any mere mortal./ Cobra Commander thinks. If motorcycles were angels, the H2R would be Lucifer, on his way to hell. Which was why he named it after the most famous fallen angel, though nicknamed it Lu. It was one of his pride and joys, having built and tweaked it by hand from scratch from the tires up. And like the H2R from Kawasaki, he didn't even bother trying to make it street legal. He had built it to the same exacting specifications as Kawasaki did... plus some tweaks here and there that made it even meaner than Kawasaki's version. Considering the nine hundred thousand US dollar price tag, he had decided that building the thing himself would be a much better option than buying one and tweaking it. Once he was done with the tanks, Lu would then be loaded into his personal helicopter.... he never left any of his babies behind, much to the irritation of the scientists, not that he really cared what the old troglodyte codgers thought of him. When he wanted to get the job done, the job got done. It wasn't his fault if their visions of world domination were idiotic at best to him. He had his own plans to accomplish.  
He straddled the H2R, pulling off the glove on his left hand to place his hand on the touch pad just above the gas tank, one quick scan later and Lu snarled to a start and then purred beneath him. He put his glove back on and revved the beast. Lu snarled and trilled, giving a buck as if eager to be off and running, this gave him a stab of pride in his heart, his bike was as wild as he, himself was. Cobra Commander had a Shinigami smile as he disengaged the kickstand and gave Lu some throttle... the H2R lurched like a nightmarish version of a racehorse at the opening of the starting gate, giving him the sensation of flying.  
He roared out of the supply truck, the few Cobra grunts nearby shuddered in fear as Cobra Commander's wild laughter made them think of the bony fingers of death reaching for them or the feeling of someone walking on their graves. He rode out, taking a longer more roundabout route before turning Lu to aim where the tanks were expected to be, becoming a black comet racing over the surface of the desert sands.  
/Anomaly detected. Cobra Commander appears to be on his way to the tanks... he is approaching 200 miles per hour./ Wing Zero alerts Heero.  
“K'so.” Heero spits out.  
“Something wrong, Sir?” Flash asks/  
“What do you know can get up to around 200 miles and hour in less than ten minutes?” Heero asks.  
“Unless he has a rocket strapped to his ass, I'd say a really fast motorcycle on a suicide run.” Barricade speaks up from where he was leaning against one of the Leos.  
“Warn the tanks.” Heero orders.  
“Too late.” Breaker says as he starts hearing the tanks broadcast a general 'What the fuck is that?' over the radio.  
Heero wanted to wait for the tanks, they would be a turning point, he knew.  
“What do we do?” Ban'zai asks from the second Leo.  
“We wait.” Heero says grimly.  
/That is Wufei's opinion as well, he doesn't know what Cobra Commander is up to, he was simply told to keep the grunts working. Nataku relayed his opinion./ Wing Zero says.

The roar of Lu's engine and the whine of it's supercharger would have been all the warning the tanks would have received, had they been able to hear it, before pulling an all stop and nearly making themselves dizzy spinning their turrets to try to catch a glimpse of the black, angry comet that was now bedeviling them.  
“Flint, you got visuals?” Steeler, one of the Trago commanders asks the other Trago commander through their coms.  
“Other than what had looked like some kind of wicked, angry, black comet? No. Thunderwing?” Flint replies and adds a question in to the Vayeate commander.  
Thunderwing snorts, “Are you kidding? I'd have an easier time playing prairie dog just to spot this devil.”  
Cobra Commander couldn't help himself, really... it was too damned funny, watching the turrets spin round and round so fast as he lapped them laughing gleefully. But he had to get this done, he grabbed the first sticky bomb from the saddlebags and slowed his speed as he turned to one of the Tragos, popping the seal for the sticky bomb, it's protective metal casing dropping to the sands as he moved in to reveal the gluey, sticky softball sized explosive that was it's name. He was lucky that the tanks had stopped while trying to figure out what he was, he slowed down to nearly a crawl as soon as he was on the right side of the farthest Trago. He opted to stick the bomb onto the top of the track rather than throw it before he gunned the H2R's throttle and raced away. He made a wide circle as he pulled another sticky bomb from the saddlebags. The first bomb goes off with a bright white flash, the bang sound as if a hakkotsu thunder b grenade had gone off a mere five feet away from his head and a puff of dark grey smoke that seemed to pelt twisted and shattered track onto the sands like a bad parody of rain.  
He starts forward again, this time aiming for the second Trago.  
“Goddammit, I'm hit but with what? Who or what is this damned thing?” Steeler yells and growls.  
“I can't tell, it hit your other side.” Flint replies.  
“Most likely it is Cobra Commander and probably on a motorcycle if his speed was any indication.” Breaker tells them over the radio.  
“Sonofabitch.” Steeler growls.  
The black comet slows once again as it gets in between the two Tragos, zipping away with a snarl and a trill leaving another sticky bomb on the second Trago's right side track.  
As he made the wide turn, the bomb went off, another bright white flash, loud bang, puff of smoke but with the added sound of the resultant shrapnel pinging and clanging as it pelted the side of the first Trago as well.  
“Damn this son of a bitch.” Flint growls.  
“That little demon got your tracks.” Steeler says with a growl.  
“Which means he probably already hit your tracks.” Flint responds, fuming.  
While they were busy talking, Cobra Commander was busier. He turned towards his last victim, the Vayeate and smirks under his hood and mask as he grabbed two sticky bombs from his saddlebags, popping the metal casings off of them, slowing as he got to the Vayeate's left side.  
“That means he's after mine now!” Thunderwing growls, giving the orders to move the Vayeate.  
Indeed he was... but even as the Vayeate started to lurch forward, the two bombs were already stuck on the larger Vayeate's track, and Cobra Commander had already moved over to about one hundred feet behind the second Trago he had hit, the middle one. He pulled out three handmade M-18 smoke bombs and a hand grenade from the saddlebags and started to juggle them. The two sticky bombs explode, almost at the same time, the double flash was nearly enough to blind Cobra Commander, the double bang was almost loud enough to make his ears ring, almost. But the sound of twisted and broken tracks pelting the sands made him chuckle, even as the Vayeate tried to move forward. The slack in the track made it lurch and it stopped immediately.  
“Where the fuck is he?” Thunderwing hollers as the double bang reverberated in the Vayeate. “I'm gonna rip his arms off and beat him with it! I'm gonna strip his hide off in strips!” Thunderwing continues to rant and rave.  
“Easy now, Thunderwing, it's only one guy.” Steeler surprisingly tries to soothe.  
“Dude, even I know not to even dare look at much less touch Thunderwing's baby.” Flint replies.  
“WHERE IS HE?!?” Thunderwing roars.  
Cobra Commander pulls the pin from the hand grenade and while still juggling the smoke bombs one handed, chucks the hand grenade at the middle Trago, it lands on top of the turret and Cobra Commander goes back to juggling the smoke bombs.  
The resultant blast actually does make his ears ring this time, but he doesn't stop grinning from ear to ear, not that anyone could see his maniacal cheshire cat grin.  
“He's got to be nearby.” Flint says rather loudly as the grenade actually made his own ears ring.  
“On the count of three, we pop our heads up and see if we can spot him” Steeler says.  
“One” Thunderwing growls.  
“Two” Flint says, still a little too loudly.  
“Three” Steeler says.  
They all pop their heads out of the top at the same time.... only to see something drop into each of the tanks, one by one as Cobra Commander pulls the pins and chucks the smoke bombs right down each hatch.  
“What the fuck you little shit! I'm going to kill you!” Thunderwing roars as purple smoke starts filling each tank and billowing out the top.  
Unable to breathe in the smoke, all four from each tank have no choice but to rush out. As they rush out, Steeler, Flint and Thunderwing try to find Cobra Commander.  
The sound of a gun being cocked startled all of them. Thunderwing found himself the recipient of the muzzle of a SIG SUAER Legion pressed to his left temple. An arm wrapped around his neck, making him bend a little to accommodate the surprisingly shorter Cobra Commander.  
“You sonofabitch I'm gonna kill you.” Thunderwing growls.  
“How are you gonna do that? I'm not the one with a gun pressed to my head now am I? As for the rest of you.... disarm yourselves, just toss them near my lovely bike... hurt the bike and I'll shoot a body part.” Cobra Commander orders.  
They all do as he says, not without some nearly disasterous moves but when Cobra Commander's finger tightened just a fraction on the trigger, they thought twice. Once everyone was disarmed, Thunderwing included, Cobra Commander moved his head in a way to indicate movement from them.  
“Good, now go over there behind that first Trago, about one hundred feet and sit down all nice and slow like and put your hands on your heads.” Cobra Commander says.  
“You won't get away with this, bad guys never do.” The driver of the Vayeate growls.  
“Good, Bad, I'm the one with the gun.” Cobra Commander simply says, ironically quoting Ash from the Evil Dead series.  
/The tank haulers and personnel are on their way, they should be here in about ten minutes./ Deathscythe informs Cobra Commander.  
“While we wait for some more playmates, who's up for a round of Kumbaya?” Cobra Commander suggests cheerfully as he swings Thunderwing around and lets him go, making the guy stumble into the rest of the group. He pulls out another SIG SAUER Legion and cocks it. “Just so you know... they are set to PewPewPew. Which means I can shoot as many bullets with one squeeze as are loaded into the mag. Don't tempt me.” Cobra Commander warns, he keeps at least one gun trained on them as he straddles the H2R and turns it to face them. He leans on the handlebars and points both guns at them in an almost careless fashion.  
The group of 9 men glares at Cobra Commander who sighs. “Which way would you want to do this then?” He asks irritably. “You get to keep your lives but lose the tanks or you get to lose your lives and still lose the tanks. Your choice. I surprisingly prefer to let you all live and just take the big toys away from you. Don’t let your foolish pride make me do something I would surprisingly rather not do. Hell, I even offered to sing Kumbaya with you all. I hate that song. I prefer Five Finger Death Punch or Bring Me The Horizon or Disturbed… not some stupid campfire classic that no one likes.” Cobra Commander rants.  
“Why do you care anyway? Aren’t you supposed to be the bad guy?” Flint asks.  
“I am the bad guy, in everyone’s eyes. I am also the pain in the ass thorn in the side of the ones who seek to tell me what to do in the Cobra organization. What I am about, I can’t tell you, nor do I want to. You’ll just have to be happy with the fact that despite everything, I don’t want people to die because of all this. At least, not you GI guys. And I won’t explain why either.” Cobra Commander says.  
“I won’t forgive you, you hurt my baby.” Thunderwing growls.  
“Mmhmm and I am also taking that baby with me, do I really look like I care whether you hate me or not? Please. At least you get to live longer to hate my guts more than what the other Cobras would love to do to you and all other GI Gundam guys.” Cobra Commander says, shrugging a shoulder nonchalantly.  
/5 minutes away./ Deathscythe informs Cobra Commander.  
Cobra Commander sighs.  
“But all of you have to admit…. Who else would be crazy enough to take on three tanks with a built by hand, modified H2R and some explosives of varying uses?” Cobra Commander asks and laughs.  
“No one that we knew of. You’d be the first, and successful, unfortunately.” Steeler grudgingly agrees. The others grudgingly nod their heads in agreement.  
“And that is what made it so brilliantly successful. No one else is as crazy or naturally adept at all things that go BOOM, except me. Well, that and playing McGuyver every chance I get. Everything I used, I made or modified. Never mess with a tinker, we always invent new ways to get what we want.” Cobra Commander says, a grin could be heard in his voice, the amusement that usually makes one grin anyway.  
“Who moved the rock and found you?” Thunderwing asks, trying to insult.  
“No one… some idiot detonated a landmine in the sands of these deserts and out I came.” Cobra Commander says with a laugh, turning one insult away while technically insulting himself. “It is your own faults that all of you come to confront me in my own backyard. No one knows the deserts like I do. And the cities therein.”  
The could hear the rumbling of the tank tow trucks from nearly a mile away, growing like an incoming thunderstorm.  
Cobra Commander chuckles. “And here come the repo men for the tanks. Maybe I'll have some fun and tinker with these babies later, could be fun to see if I can’t make them even better than they are.” Cobra Commander says with ideas already in his head on what he wanted to play with as far as modifying the tanks. The GI Guys just might like his modifications, when he gave them back… much later. He wasn’t going to stay with Cobra forever. But no one except himself and a handful of others knew this, and no one else was going to know, until the time was right.  
The tank tow trucks and crew came rumbling up, crew jumping out to get the tanks up and running before the two trucks had a chance to fully stop. A small group of three came up to Cobra Commander, taking care not to startle him.  
“Tu çi dixwazî ji me re ji bo ku ez bi wan re, patronê?”2 The biggest one asks, gesturing towards the 9 GI Gundam men.  
“Wan zindî bihêlin. Tie wan û ji wan re li vir bihêle dema ku tank derkevin. dûman Orange, îşareta yên rizgarkirinê xwe. Paşê helîkopterê min bînin û bar H2R nav it. Ma tevîhev ne, tenê ji van dînên ji morîmaran rast biparêze.”3 Cobra Commander replies in the same language that the other man spoke in, which was Kurdish or Kurmanji. “Ewle bimînin, birayên min. Eger yek ji we werin kuştin, hûn ê ji min re paşê hez ne.”  
The three chuckle softly and pull out their own weapons to point at the GI Gundam guys as Cobra Commander puts his own away and gives the H2R a quick revv, making the black and green beast give a short snarl and trill. He turns towards the other Cobras.  
“Get those things fixed and on transport to headquarters within twenty minutes, or all of you will end up on the bad end of the firing squad AFTER I have my pound or twenty of flesh from your sorry carcasses.” Cobra Commander shouts the orders before turning the H2R and heading back to the oil wells to deal with the other 8 GI Gundams that he knew where there, looking more like a black comet than some crazy asshole on a very fast bike. The day wasn’t done yet, but by his reckoning, he was already ahead by three very powerful tanks. That would make those asshole scientists happy, even though he was planning on giving those things back later…. Much later. As a part of his notice of self termination of employ with those assholes.

 

A/N  
Cobra Commander speaking Kurdish or Kurmanji in order of his speaking:  
1\. “I am glad that you know me so well, my dear old friend.”  
2\. “What do you want us to do with them, boss?”  
3\. “Keep them alive. Tie them up and leave them right here when the tanks leave. Orange smoke, to signal their rescuers. Then bring my helicopter and load the H2R into it. Do not engage, just keep these idiots safe from the real Cobras.” “Stay safe, my brothers. If any of you get shot, you won't like me afterwards.”  
Why is he speaking Kurdish or Kurmanji? You'll find out soon enough.

Entomologist is a person who studies bugs aka insects, arachnids and such.  
A pinning board is what is used to mount insect/arachnid specimens, can be made of wood, plastic or metal.  
FUBAR = Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition

Cobra Commander’s Outfit  
[](http://s350.photobucket.com/user/RhysGalenTalCernunnos/media/Cobra%20Commanders%20Outfit_zpswll7cwny.png.html)

GI Gundam Rough Sketch Uniform  
[](http://s350.photobucket.com/user/RhysGalenTalCernunnos/media/GI%20Gundam%20Bodysuit_zpsfjloekyj.png.html)  
Cobra Commander’s custom 1911s  
[](http://s350.photobucket.com/user/RhysGalenTalCernunnos/media/313b668c0cf1db93a46a6711025f998e_zpsuqbnxglh.jpg.html)

Tank Tow Truck the M882 Hercules  
[](http://s350.photobucket.com/user/RhysGalenTalCernunnos/media/HET_tractor_zpsuqrx8bei.jpg.html)

Lu the custom modified H2R  
[](http://s350.photobucket.com/user/RhysGalenTalCernunnos/media/Screenshot_2017-02-20-20-33-11_zpsujdse6tq.png.html)

The origin of sticky bombs...  
https://youtu.be/kK7HX-lfzYE  
Hakkotsu Thunder B  
https://youtu.be/PQMqpYqxq7g  
M-18 Smoke Grenade  
https://youtu.be/ri-BxKIgFEk

I don't know why they aren't showing but here are the YouTube vids for the sounds and gadgets Cobra Commander used.

Don't worry, this isn't the only chapter, I have 41 chapters planned with lots of mayhem in them. XD


	2. Hood Ornament Incident

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hood Ornaments, crafty reveals and the beginnings of some never before treaded writing styles.... Meaning at least one chapter after this will be a POV.... And I have never done that before... Oh... And this fight scene... Never done this kind before either.... FUN! ::flails like Muse:: Don't blame me... Blame BHG for giving me the idea and then giving me a kick in the pants to get this done. LOL She's my muse. XD

Chapter 2: Hood Ornament Incident

Naturally, being on a motorcycle that can get at least 200 miles per hour, meant that it didn’t take long for Cobra Commander to return to the oil wells that the other Cobras were currently working at. He stopped the bike next to his personal helicopter, a refitted Aries II that he had recently acquired and refitted for his purposes. (Roughly the size of a Russian Mi-26 helicopter) It was formerly a cargo helicopter prototype “stolen” from WEI. It was armored and not without a bristling array of weaponry to protect itself and it's cargo. When the three came back from making sure the tank GI Gundam guys stayed safe, they would load his Lu into the bird.  
/The eight GI Gundams are still in position where we left them, no doubt now wondering what had become of their tanks./ Deathscythe murmurs in Cobra Commander’s left ear.  
“Meaning I won a good fight but the battle isn't over.” Cobra Commander mutters and sighs as he heads over to where Storm Shadow and the other Cobras were working.  
Storm Shadow looks up as Cobra Commander approaches. “Cobra Commander.”  
“Now don’t act all surprised to see me. Are those grunts done yet? Because here in a little while, we are going to be done whether they are done or not.” Cobra Commander says.  
“They are just putting in the last pieces now.” Storm Shadow replies.  
“Good.” Cobra Commander says as he looks off towards his left shoulder, right at the sand dunes that the GI Gundam guys were hiding.

“Does he know we are here?” Heero asks no one in particular as he felt more than saw Cobra Commander’s gaze as if the man were staring straight at him.  
/If he does, he has something that none of our intelligence knows about./ Wing Zero responds as if he were asked.  
“You think he might have an A.I. helping him like you, Marquise and Chang have?” Breaker asks.  
“I hope not but that may be it. It’s the only plausible explanation.” Heero says. “Wing, try to see if you can’t make contact, if anything to see if he does have an A.I. on his side.”  
/Affirmative./ Wing Zero responds before doing as told.

/They are trying to contact me, or at least trying to see if I exist, should I respond?/ Deathscythe asks, if the A.I. could (by most scientists opinions was impossible) he almost sounded curious. Cobra Commander knew that Deathscythe was indeed curious, of all A.I.s, Deathscythe seemed the only one capable of learning and replicating emotions that were said to be impossible to be shown by any computerized artificial life form.  
“Ma çawa tu wê, dikare bibe kêfxweşî.”1 Cobra Commander murmurs under his breath, while still looking at the sand dunes.  
/Identify yourself or prepare to be neutralised./ Deathscythe informs Wing Zero, while enabling Cobra Commander to hear, who had to cover his laugh with a sudden coughing fit, which gained odd looks by Storm Shadow and the other Cobras.  
“Min nexwest pir ew ku rê wateyê ne.”2 Cobra Commander mutters under his breath as he tries to get his breathing back to normal. He turns on the others, “Get back to work. I want to be done sometime this century!” He snarls.  
The other Cobras stop gawking and hurriedly go back to doing what they were doing. Storm Shadow simply shrugs and shakes his head. No one understood Cobra Commander’s antics most of the time…. On a good day.  
/This is Wing Zero, A.I. of Heero Yuy, lieutenant of the GI Gundam forces./ Wing Zero responds which Deathscythe helpfully patched to the speaker in Cobra Commander’s right ear.  
“Ah good… then you can tell him that it would be best if he goes back, collects the tank operators and leaves while some of you still have your prides intact. Or, come and lose all dignity as they know it.” Cobra Commander cheerfully responds to Wing Zero.  
It would not be the last time Wing Zero was heard to make a squawk of surprise similar to the sound of a metal car door needing oiling makes when opening. And it would always be because of either Cobra Commander or Deathscythe. Cobra Commander flinches at the sound.  
/At least I don’t make such an undignified sound./ Deathscythe proudly proclaims.  
“No, yours don't hurt my ears.” Cobra Commander says.  
/Identify yourself./ Wing Zero growls.  
/I am Scythe, A.I. to Cobra Commander, whom you squawked at./ Deathscythe informs, though not using the full name that he always went by.  
Cobra Commander had to bite his tongue to keep from laughing at this exchange. He moved himself around to where the Cobras working were between himself and where he knew the GI Gundams to be, to give him room and time to maneuver when needed, which would be soon now that the lieutenant's A.I. had hailed them.  
“If they surrender now, it would be so much easier on them in the long run.” Cobra Commander informs Wing Zero helpfully.  
/Implausible. We hold the greater numbers./ Wing Zero informs them.  
/Held, the correct verb form is held. The tanks have been commandeered./ Deathscythe helpfully informs Wing Zero.  
Cobra Commander kept his eyes on Storm Shadow during this exchange, when Storm Shadow tensed, he knew the GI Gundam guys were coming. Sure enough, he noticed eight figures cresting the sand dune where they had been hiding, yelling “You are all under arrest.” Guns out but uselessly pointed upwards.  
As the Cobras went for their own weapons, Cobra Commander’s shouts his own orders. “Aim to disable, if any of them dies, you'll pay with your own lives.” All of the Cobras knew he meant it.  
And then it became a clusterfuck…. The Cobras dodged behind empty oil drums or large equipment. Storm Shadow and Cobra Commander dodged and went behind a nearby forklift.  
“If you kill one, I will kill you, but I don’t have anything to worry about with you now do I?” Cobra Commander asks Storm Shadow before leaving the forklift to get closer to the GI Gundams.  
It was then that Cobra Commander ended up face to muzzle with a Glock, Heero Yuy being the one with the Glock.  
“You should be careful with that, giving your enemy a weapon like that lovely Glock.” Cobra Commander cheerfully states, putting his hands up.  
“I am not giving it to you.” Heero Yuy says.  
“Sure you are.” Cobra Commander says brightly, his left hand pushing the muzzle aside even as his right pushed against Heero's wrist, twisting the gun until it was knocked from Heero's grasp and into Cobra Commander’s. Which took all of a second or two. “See, you gave me this shiny new gun.” Cobra Commander says cheerfully, even as he moves the gun to make it eject it’s mag…. Which pinged off of Heero’s forehead, which Cobra Commander aimed for.  
Heero swung at Cobra Commander’s head with a right hook, which Cobra Commander dodged by moving backwards on spry feet. Cobra Commander racks the slide of the Glock and points it to the ground to shoot the round in the chamber harmlessly into the sands. Heero swings around with a one eighty kick with his right leg, Cobra Commander leans back and laughs as if he is playing limbo before springing back upright. Almost like one of those inflatable punching clown toys that would spring back up after you punched it.  
Cobra Commander was happily starting to dismantle Heero's gun while dodging Heero's attacks for the fun of it…. Which served to infuriate Heero more, which helped Cobra Commander’s purposes greatly. Cobra Commander dodges Heero's low left kick by doing a hands free backflip, as his hands were busy. Cobra Commander’s right hand pulled the slide back slightly while his left grabbed the slide and pressed the slide release buttons on both sides pulling the slide, assembly and barrel from the frame. When he lands on his feet, Cobra Commander throws the frame of the Glock at Heero, hitting Heero square in the chest.  
Heero growls, “Stop taking it apart!”  
“Nope, no can do, error, does not compute.” Cobra Commander laughs and teases as Heero launches at him again.  
The GI Gundams were already in the process of being tied up, they were all out numbered four to one and Storm Shadow promised no harm should they just drop their weapons and surrender.  
“Even I know not to touch Heero's guns.” Barricade says, “And they think I'm the crazy one among us.”  
“Our Cobra Commander is just barely on this side of batshit crazy. Hence the taking out of your three tanks with only some explosives and an H2R motorcycle.” Storm Shadow informs them.  
“Are you sure he is on this side of batshit?” Breaker asks.  
“There are many times that we wonder.” A Cobra grunt states with a shake of his head.  
They all watch the two commanding officers fight.  
Cobra Commander lands a high snapping front kick to Heero’s sternum that causes Heero to stumble back, gasping for air, as the recoil spring assembly pings off of his forehead. Heero growls again and rushes at Cobra Commander, only to have Cobra Commander drop to the ground and trip him, causing Heero to fall to the sands in a sprawl. Both were back up within seconds, and the barrel pinging off of Heero’s forehead a moment later.  
“You are going to pick up the pieces, clean them thoroughly and put it back together.” Heero orders with a growl.  
“Make me.” Cobra Commander challenges with a laugh, bouncing the slide off of Heero’s chest.  
Heero launches at Cobra Commander… grappling with him, causing them to go over the sand dunes that the GI Gundams had been hiding behind. Heero and Cobra Commander traded kick for kick and punch for punch as they went up and over the sand dunes, still trading blow for blow as they tumbled down the other side. When they landed… Cobra Commander was perched on Heero's back both panting for breath as Cobra Commander was looking at the Leo with a unseen but wicked expression on his face. He gave Heero a grazing punch across Heero’s left temple which dazed Heero a little, which was what Cobra Commander was after. Cobra Commander then lifts Heero off the sands and deposits him, not very gently onto the hood of the nearest Leo and starts to tie Heero’s wrists to the side view mirror, and Heero's ankles to the bumper, causing Heero to be spread-eagled on the hood of the Leo.  
“Who knew GI Gundam Lieutenants made such great hood ornaments!” Cobra Commander exclaims with a laugh.  
Heero shook his head to get out of the daze he was in and glares at Cobra Commander. “Release me this instant!”  
“How about, No… does No work for you?” Cobra Commander mocks.  
“You will untie me right now.” Heero growls.  
“And I don’t even get a please…. Where are your manners, your mother would be so disappointed in you.” Cobra Commander chides.  
Heero glares at Cobra Commander, who take the opportunity to really look at Heero. And he actually liked what he saw. Heero Yuy, glaring his infamous death glare with those prussian blue eyes. Cobra Commander wondered if Heero styled his chocolate colored hair or if Heero's was naturally doing whatever it liked. Cobra Commander purred, yes purred. Who knew that the GI Gundam had such tasty looking men? It made him almost surrender just to beg to join GI Gundam, almost. But it was too much fun to have those prussian blue eyes glaring death at him. He checked the ropes that now held his growling captive spread-eagled on the hood of one of GI Gundam's own Leo Humvees, making sure they were tight but not too tight. And this was what Storm Shadow ended up seeing as he came up over the sand dunes to see what the end result of the battle happened to be.  
“Come now, Lover, don't be mad.” Cobra Commander teased. “We know you like it.”  
“Omae O Korosu.” Heero growls.  
“Tsk tsk, I hardly see how that punishment would fit the crime. Besides... at least I let you keep your bodysuit on. And we know that you appreciate that. Now say 'Thank you, Cobra Commander, for letting me keep my dignity'.”  
“Fuck you.” Heero spits out.  
“Ah... no... but fucking you might be fun... but your rescuers should arrive in about 30 minutes or so and I would want to savor that body of yours.” Cobra Commander chuckles. “See you later, Lover.” Cobra commander purrs as he leaves, Storm Shadow follows him, but not before giving Heero an apologetic look.  
/You are so weak!/ Nataku berates Storm Shadow, sounding too much like his long dead wife, Meilin, whom he had joined GI Gundam in memory of. /The idiot's back is to you and you won't man up and strike!/  
He had his reasons, primarily that Cobra Commander wasn't the head of the 'snake' so to speak. Cobra Commander was simply the fangs... there were others who lead the Cobra organization and GI Gundam needed to know who before they could do anything about it. Storm Shadow slapped his right ear, sending reverberations back to Nataku.  
/I think Storm Shadow is having problems with his own AI. He just slapped his right ear for what seemed to be no reason./ Deathscythe informs Cobra Commander.  
“Is there something wrong with your right ear, Storm Shadow?” Cobra Commander asks, back still to Storm Shadow.  
/How does he do that?/ Nataku asks, echoing Storm Shadow's thoughts.  
“I am fine, Cobra Commander.” Storm Shadow replies.  
“If you say so, Storm Shadow.” Cobra Commander sounded anything but convinced.  
Cobra Commander checked to make sure his beloved H2R Lu was loaded into his waiting helicopter before he climbed into it. Storm Shadow climbed in behind, as Cobra Commander was checking on the progress of the retrieval of the tanks that he had single-handedly captured. He frowned, though outwardly, people would only see his eyebrows crinkle together which could have easily been overlooked. Cobra Commander saw it though.  
Once they were in the air, seated side by side because Cobra Commander would never let Storm Shadow out of his hearing or sight if he could help it, Cobra Commander seemed to relax.  
Because he did relax, after a reassuring whisper from Deathscythe giving an /All clear, no one has bugged our bird. You may now speak freely without the walls having ears./  
“It was either take the tanks, or let the grunts beat and kill the GI Gundam troops. Which would you prefer, you cannot have both. It is a fine fucking line, and I am sure you would agree with me... better to take the tanks than to watch the GI Gundam troops get murdered. Especially that new hood ornament, that would have been a shame, if he were to have been killed.” Cobra Commander speaks quietly but with a smug purr in his voice in mentioning the state they had left Heero Yuy in.  
“You know that I could easily inform our superiors on what you are doing.” Storm Shadow says, without betraying the surprise he felt over the fact that Cobra Commander had just admitted to choosing to keep the GI Gundam men safe. There was no reason why Cobra Commander couldn't have stolen the tanks and let the GI Gundam men get beaten and killed. Yet he had chosen to take the tanks and ordered his men to let the GI Gundam men alone, tied up, awaiting rescue in both locations by other GI Gundam forces.  
/What is he playing at?/ Nataku asked, mirroring Storm Shadow's thoughts, Storm Shadow was glad to know that he wasn't the only one baffled by Cobra Commander's words and actions. Cobra Commander was even defying Nataku's logic circuits.  
“Hmm... you could. But then I would have to reveal that you are not as you seem. And you are not as you seem now are you, Chang Wufei?” Cobra Commander asks, with a clear smirk in his voice and probably on his face under his hood and mask.  
Storm Shadow Wufei felt as if he had just broken into a cold sweat.  
“Oh, don't worry, your secret is safe with me. For now. I have my own reasons and my own agenda. Getting caught by GI Gundam would hamper those reasons and agenda. But sending one undercover GI Gundam under the bus would not be unconscionable, if I absolutely had to. But we can keep each other safe, for now. Meaning, don't get in my way and don't think to get me killed by revealing my secrets to the scientists unless you are wanting to commit suicide.” Cobra Commander warns with a very deadly serious voice, his amber eyes also conveying that deadly serious message.  
“I will not say anything... for now.” Storm Shadow Wufei says.  
“That will do.” Cobra Commander says with a nod, turning his attention to a data pad he pulls from one of his many secreted pockets of his outfit. Storm Shadow Wufei couldn't figure out how the man did that.... hid so many things.... without betraying that he had anything other than his clothing on him. Cobra Commander was as bad as Heero Yuy was in secreting all sorts of odds and ends away in various locations on the body. It made him wonder if they were related, or at least came from the same kind of street schooling, as everyone could swear that Heero Yuy was the master of ‘spandex space'.  
When they had left, the Cobra forces let Barricade go with the Leo that didn’t have a hood ornament attached so that he could ensure the GI Gundams were “rescued”. The others left tied and away from Heero’s sight. All Heero Yuy could do was wait and bitterly remember the fight and how he should have done differently, which made him think on the other times the GI Gundams had faced off against this rather crazy Cobra Commander.

Cobra Commander didn’t look forward to going back to the “home base” of Cobra, because it meant that he would have to go see and debrief with the scientists, he hated that, he hated them. It was because of them that he was even in Cobra at all. They had messed with his makeshift family before, and anyone who bothers the Sweepers…. Gets Shinigami after their asses. But the scientists didn’t anything about Shinigami, nothing about Duo Maxell either…. And they sure as hell didn’t kniw anything about the one known as Cobra Commander. ::They just think I am their pawn, their little sheep. Let them think that, the more they underestimate me, the stronger my grip will be to yank their world out from under their feet.:: Cobra Commander angrily thinks as he watches Deathscythe typing out the full report (minus a few things) of what had all just happened. Which was another of a long line of reasons he was grateful to have the A.I., Deathscythe always was willing to type out the mission reports for him, because he, himself, hated the things with a passion. If they wanted to know… they should have been there. But secretly, Cobra Commander was very happy those troglodytes didn’t like to leave their laboratories… he couldn’t stand their presences any longer than necessary.

 

Author’s Notes

1\. Do as you will, could be entertaining.  
2\. I didn’t quite mean it that way.

Who knew Heero could make such a gorgeous hood ornament? LOL  
(I am probably going to die now but it was too funny to pass up, don't kill me, Yuy, I still have 39 more chapters to write.)

**Author's Note:**

> The origin of sticky bombs...  
> https://youtu.be/kK7HX-lfzYE  
> Hakkotsu Thunder B  
> https://youtu.be/PQMqpYqxq7g  
> M-18 Smoke Grenade  
> https://youtu.be/ri-BxKIgFEk
> 
> I don't know why they aren't showing but here are the YouTube vids for the sounds and gadgets Cobra Commander used.
> 
> Don't worry, this isn't the only chapter, I have 41 chapters planned with lots of mayhem in them. XD


End file.
